I'm on a boat...

Not that I'm entirely shallow, but I'm glad that I waited until I could fit into my old clothes before I went shopping for a summer dress to get married in.

[CAI]

I can't shake this feeling I'm having. I can't really explain it, but I'm wondering... how would you feel about a trip to Boston? Nothing too long, but I'd like to introduce them to Carys. I'm tired of feeling like I did something wrong.

I love you.

Whoever said nursing made you lose all your baby weight was a liar. Those last ten pounds? They're never, EVER going away. You have to eat a ton to keep your energy up since you're not getting any sleep anyway, and then you have this little person constantly hanging off of you and it's-

You know what? I'll be ten pounds heavier and lumpier forever. I don't care because she's gorgeous.

She's a month and a half old and I've never seen a happier baby. She doesn't sleep a lot, but she doesn't scream and cry a lot, either. She's just awake and staring at everything all the time. Plus? She waits to smile at Cai until he's not looking and it's adorable.

I wonder if my mommy-euphoria is just because I'm not getting any sleep.

I kind of wish I could share this with my sister.

Everything is ready. The crib, the nursery, the clothes- We know we're having a girl, and I know she's going to be perfect.

I can still remember sitting down in that little - okay, not so little - restaurant in Constantinople and telling Cai that I was pregnant. I thought he was going to fall over. We barely knew each other and what we did know wasn't all personal experience. But, he survived. He's a trooper.

Leaving the ship was hard, coming here was hard... but we did it and we did it together. Just like we're going to do this together. Saying 'yes' to him was the easiest thing I have ever done.

I won't lie... I am so nervous about having this baby.

Gotta love the Irish, they sure know how to throw a party.

Don't miss Boston.

Cai? Corned beef & cabbage.

Seven weeks.

Seven weeks or less, actually. To be fair, it could be more. Seven weeks, give or take. April 15 is my -our- due date. It seems like it's been forever and yet, at the same time, this has all flown by so fast. Wasn't it just Christmas?

I still haven't told my parents. Only now, it's not so much something to hide as it is something that's mine that I don't want to hear their opinion on. It wouldn't be flattering. Okay, it'd be worse than that. I'd never hear the end of how I disappointed them... something about being a traitor to my father, I'm sure. They'd probably demand I come home, stop embarrassing the family and I have no doubt that the word 'adoption' would be thrown around a few times.

But, yes. I AM thirty years old.

Once I get past twenty-nine years of being 'proper', I'm going to call them up, tell them everything and really? Never call them again.

And I'm going to do it sometime in the next seven weeks.

Tomorrow I will be 30.

And I will inherit 30 million dollars.

And I'm pregnant.

And Cai Ansley loves me.

That is all.

I have to confess that I have a different kind of reason for leaving the ship.

Six months ago, I made a deal with my father. The deal was, I needed to keep a job - this job - for six months before I could inherit the money thirty million dollars I was supposed to on my 30th birthday. Now that I've been here six months, it's time to go home.

I'm... not going alone.

I'm pregnant. Thank you, Cai.

Cai, and I, and our baby in utero, will be moving back to Boston this week. I just wanted to thank everyone for being so friendly and so helpful while I was here.

Cai.

( And the game... is over. )